No title...

Today when I think of you I just feel empty. It saddens me that I feel that way.

New year, new life

December 30th, my husband left me. I knew he'd been depressed about not having a full time job and not passing the bar exam but as the weeks went by after he moved out, my worst fear was confirmed. He was not happy with our marriage. He says there is no one else though I have a hard time believing that because how could one just simply fall out of love with someone so easily? I've seen him only about 4 times since he moved out and spoken to him about the same amount. He says he's happy and brought up the fact that we only have to be separated for 60 days before we can file for divorce.

I can't believe I was so duped by what I thought was a happy man in a happy marriage. We were the type of couple everyone was envious of and I was so arrogant in thinking to myself that things were so perfect. I feel a little foolish right now sometimes. I wrote him a letter telling him not to make any rash decisions he said he looked at it several times. I honestly feel there is no hope though. I don't know where my husband went (emotionally) he's just gone and it is strange to see this person who barely looks at me.

I know that come the first weeks of march, he will come around with papers for me to sign. I will sign them and maybe be unhappy for a short while but then I have plans to make. I have a new life to live and all the possibilities in front of me.

The first is to take care of myself which I am doing well.
The second is to buy this house.
The third is to make this house a reflection of me somehow. Maybe when I find me.
The fourth is to work hard, play hard and have as much fun as I can.
The fifth is because I hate even numbers so I will add that I will create.