My Venus fly trap is looking good despite not having a meal. I am sure it will be happy this summer when I put it on the patio.

Today I took some pale green paint and painted the inside of the closet in the entry way. I also painted half the hall way leading to the kitchen. It is a very pretty colour and it makes me feel happy when I open the closet door. It is almost white. I am thinking the kitchen would be pretty in a colour like that. Maybe a little darker or maybe that value of a yellow. I am tired of tan and the tan that i picked out a few years ago really has more of a pink or peach tint to it. I don't like it. I was afraid to go yellow but I think I would like either that or a green tint better than this near flesh tint. I am actually hating it. I didn't like it when it went on and I still don't like it. The colour in the kitchen wasn't too bad but now I feel the same about it. Anyway, I got to thinking about how making the inside of something look beautiful and not neglecting seeimingly insignificant things of the house is a great metaphor for my life. I want to create a beautiful inside where it is peaceful, organised, and loved. I really do believe those things will radiate outward and I need to start making those changes.

I learned how to use a flashdrive last week. Shuddup. It was exciting for me because i put all these pictures on the computer and it is running slow as hell. CDs don't seem to hold much and these little things are just amazing! Why yes, I am easily pleased and excited.

Goals this week
1. Practice patience

2. Meet challenges with enthusiasm and positive attitudes. (IOW, keep my joy and don't let anyone try steal it).

3. Don't complain about things when others have so much worse.

A gloomy day...

I did what was on my list for today(or I am sill doing it). I have my car in the garage and laundry is almost finished. I went to the grocery store and bought more food that can be frozen. My freezer is full of skillet meals, frozen veggies, and the pantry has canned foods. The refrigerator is relatively bare but I am ready for snow days LOL.

I feel terrible today, just sad about nothing. Overwhelmed again by stupid stuff (literally STUFF). I should have had that garage sale this past summer. Why do I wait until now to get energized? Well, I know I don't have the pool and sunshine to distract me. It is a cloudy day. A quiet day. I swear the holiday blues are already upon me. I feel like I should be out doing something celebratory and I am distracted from the things that I need to do. Josephina, my rat, is having a harder time getting around. Her poor coat looks ragged and she has a fairly large growth (tumour) on her stomach. I know she won't be with me much longer and she has been by far my favourite (a second Rudy). I have elenor who I like a lot, but seriously, when she is gone (in 2010 ish) I swear I will not have another pet rat. I will do everything in my power to resist the urge of taking one home. Or any pet for that matter. I love them all, but sometimes I wish I had no one else to take care of. Plus, it is just so sad to lose them. Hell, I feel bad enough when I have a plant or a tree that has died.

I have a ficus tree that was given to my mom when Nick died. Then there is the cactus I got when my bio-dad died (it looks like hell), and the cactus that I bought last spring which also looks like hell. I bought a venus fly trap at the Kroger store last week. It's pretty cool, but there are no bugs for it. Will it survive? It says it needs 35-45 degree weather from Nov.- Feb. and bright but filtered light. Where am I going to put it so that it is that cool but gets that light? I suppose I could try and put it in the basement window sill but it will still be too warm down there. IT needs to be dormant. Maybe I can build a little green house for it outside?

pictures today