What I have learned...

With thoughts of running off to another state to be with the one who was meant for me, I have learned that I need to let go of a lot of stuff. I am too attached to my things and that is a terrifying thought that someday I would have to let go of them. Weird because so very few of these things actually belong to me. My computer, my original bedroom set, my mattress, my artwork, my flatwear, dishes, and a few house hold items are all that I really *OWN*. The rest is hand me down stuff, stuff that mike and I bought together (that I really didn't want anyway), stuff that was bought after we married.

I am having serious doubts that things would work out with this man living in another state. I think there has been much harm in expressing our doubts to each other that we've killed any blossoming future. Aborted it before it could even get to the quickening stage. What I have learned though, is that the future is so very uncertain. I learned that in the most devastating way the last year and a half, however, I now realise that in the most potentially positive ways, the future can also change. It might not happen this time around, but who knows what lies ahead? The more stuff you have tying you down though, the less opportunity you have to move forward. I have to learn to be free of stuff. Free of the past, free of anxiety. I need to put it in action.