Last night I watched the movie, The Women. The movie was about a woman (Meg Ryan) whose husband had an affair with Eva Mendez's character (who wouldn't?). Meg's closest friends knew about it before she did but Meg did, soon after, find out on her own. The movie was about betrayal. Betrayal between spouses, betrayal between friends, family, and most of all the betrayal to yourself. In the end, all bonds are in the state of repair and the divorce papers are never signed. Through out the whole movie, not one man is shown. Not her husband, not her best friend's male coworkers or her friend's husbands...none. The only male shown was at the end when her eternally pregant friend finally gives birth to the son she had been wanting in that complete cliche that the birth of a baby is hope born and fresh starts and yaddah yaddah, yaddah. So lame of an ending, but the movie was ok.
Anyway, people kept trying to get Meg to find where she was culpable in the destruction of the marriage. She was in denial saying she wasn't culpable, she was the perfect wife etc. The deeper meaning of this movie was that yes, she was the supportive wife, the good mother, the home maker and commitee person to this that and the other cause, but she was not true to her. That was her culpability. She couldn't be a good anything because she wasn't good to herself.
It hit home. For the last two years I wanted to deny any part I had in my failed marriage. After all, I was the supportive wife who basically put him through law school, stood behind him when he decided to quit his regular job and try the stock market and then write a book. I thought I praised him enough when he did things around the house.... I did all that. But, I did not do any of those things for myself. I even put aside grieving for my mother so that I didn't disturb him.
Even my friendship with Julie became tainted with sadness and disappointments. I wonder how many other people saw this passive and apathetic person.
One of the things that Meg did in the movie was make a vision board. It was labeled What do I want? She would add drawings to it, pictures, words, etc. A friend of mine brought in a book about making vision boards so I was somewhat familiar with what they were. It has to do with the laws of attractions which the book The Secret is based on. I have been wanting to make a vision board for a while but haven't gotten around to it. I am inspired to do my own *What do I want?* vision board. It seems that is a good jumping off point.
Which leads me to this...
Creativity. That is what I want. I have forgotten how to be and at one time that was such a joy in my life. I want that back. I found this... 21 ways to be more creative. Another starting off point. :)
http://christinekane.com/blog/21-ways-to-be-more-creative/#comment-200703
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