I am entitled...Yes, I said the E word!

So, I got a loan and here is what I am having done

Baseboards/crown moulding

New tile in the hall/foyer/kitchen

New cabinets and counter tops, sink etc. in kitchen

New bathrooms...All of them.

New front door

New interior doors

I should have it paid off in 7 years.  When I met with the banker yesterday he said my credit was flawless so I got the lowest rate possible.  Thank you Mom and Nick for teaching me well about spending.  I am so excited.  I let Frank know that the loan was approved (with conditions for right now...they have to check the house out and all that junk).  and he said we'd get together soon to choose the stuff and get the ordering started.  He said in a few weeks we could be starting the actual physical part of it.  I really can't wait to get a new front door with window!  It will let a lot of light in.  I am so glad I am doing this.  I was waiting and saving so that I could pay it all off but then I would never be able to enjoy my house.   After all that has taken place in the last 5.5 years, I am ENTITLED to live a good life, have nice things and be HAPPY and PROUD of the things I've worked for.  

So, that is where I stand today.  I am going to clean the house today and take pics of all the potential changes (the before pics).  It's especially poignant today because today, 5 years ago is when my new chapter in life began...This is the day that Mike left.  Five years of living by myself, taking care of myself and making sure my life was good.  It is.

  

To do...

Hiking today at the Nature center.  

Tomorrow I will start to put everything away from the old year and prep for the new year.  It starts on the 27th but it might not all be finished until the 29th or there abouts. It will definitely be finished by the 30th though.  It's like a spring cleaning in the winter.

And so it has come and gone...

Christmas is over.  It's always a relief when it is.  It's not that I don't like christmas, though I am not as loopy about it as most people, it's just that it's such a disruption from Thanksgiving until now.  Everything gets out of whack.  I guess that's why I look forward to the New Year so much because really, a moment in time, a date, is not the only time you have to start a clean slate.  There is no reason everyday can't be a new year.

It's like the calendars.  They used to only come in standard January through Dec.  But now they come in 18 months from June to December of the next year.  Or, they'll start from the academic year to the next academic year...I love my calendars.  I love filling them up with plans.  But yes, there is something about getting a brand new calendar full of possibilities.  But, back to the New year and why we look forward to it.  The Christmas season is the last hurrah of the year.  The hope and halmark moments...the cheerfulness that comes with that, the flurry of activities and parties and craziness...all rising to a crescendo to where you just can't take anymore and then it's over in a flash.  There's nothing else to look forward to so you begin to plan and hope and dream for the next year.  This will be the year that I lose weight...this will be the year that I save money...This will be the year that I find love...

This will be the year where I plan some adventures.  I'm going to Costa Rico if my friends do not peter out on me.  that will NOT be this year, but it will definitely be in the planning stages.

This will be the year that I get healthier. I've been doing that steadily for the last few years.  I want to step it up this year.

This will be the year that I get some long awaited Home improvements done.  I've contacted and old friend from my married days to help with that.  We'll forget the talk of the ex.  It wasn't much talk and I did not bring it up.  There were some things said that made me feel validated in my feelings of being wronged though.  

This may be a year of changes.  Some of them may be very scary.  It's always scary to let go of people when you feel like you'll never find another person to fill that need.  But, sometimes you have to recognise that people are selfish and you're not going to be able to change that.

There are things that I will change, things that I will let go, things that I will start doing instead.  I hope to do them quietly and without much notice or comments.  Those put much too much pressure on a person.  

European Paint Finishes: Portfolio

European Paint Finishes: Portfolio: Vintage RollTop


-MORE TO COME!

two years ago this week.

I had my hysterectomy.  Life has been so much better not worrying about that diminishing biological clock that was never really strong to begin with.  I don't have the horrible horrible depression and bursts of unexplained anger and anxiety that were making me believe I was crazy.  My friend Jenny said I would miss having my period but then again, she's a breeder so it's symbolism of motherhood was something else for her.  While mine were never bad, I don't miss them.  I love not having to worry about packing protection against a surprise start.  No cramps, no bloating, etc.  It's nothing but bliss not having to worry about it.

Last year at this time I had just broken up with Dave.  We had our last fling Dec. 30th.

Ah, December 30th.  That day, I could look at it as something full of sadness.  Dec. 30th, 2006, mike moved out.  December 30th, 2007, he came to get his stuff and it was the last time I ever saw him.  Dec. 30th, 2010, the last time Dave and I were together before he began dating Jenny (whom I love and I love them both)...my point is, I could look at that date as an ending and sadness but it's not.  It's been about new beginnings.  They weren't happy at first but they became happy.  It's also the date that I have begun my tradition of airing out the house and doing a deep clean.  I like the traditions that I have started within my new life.
September new year, Rosh Hashanah  I take inventory of my goals and work on what I have not finished
December 15th, putting up decorations
December 30th, Taking down the decorations, the airing of the home, out with the old, in with the new.
January 1, the making of goals.
March/April, getting the house ready for Summer.

I look forward to each of them and developing new traditions.