Saturday, July 14, 2007

what's it been?

A week now? things are not better. M and I have spoken or seen each other a little more lately, but it is damn hard to work on your marriage when you only see or talk to each other maybe once or twice a week. Even when we do talk, it is pretty lite and tiptoeing around everything. i am having serious doubts that this will work. He has this new job and he is getting his footing and working long hours to get caught up and get the hang of things, but where is the balance? It doesn't help that he could find time to go out with friends the other day. same old shit.

I am sick to death of worrying about things. I haven't been able to break it off completely with SO. I am debating on weather or not to go see him tonight. I know I am going out with my GF tonight for dinner and drinks, but I don't know what is going to happen beyond that. You know what? At this point I don't care. Maybe I won't break it off at all. Maybe I won't get back with M.. Why should I? Anger... It is such a better state to be in than depression. It sure the hell is.

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