A change is what I needed. I got my hair cut last night, coloured it a burgandy colour (it's temporary until I can get my niece to colour it), I dressed up and went out. Only for a short period of time. My throat has been hurting so I did not see my internet buddy this weekend. We did "talk" over IM and webcam.

Today I got an email from an old friend, George. I was in love with him when I was a mere 19 years old and he 29. I had googled him and wrote to him. I don't know why. I know he called me a few years back. Mike had answered the phone and didn't take a message. George said in his email that he didn't want to cause problems so he never called back. He married in 2000. He sent a picture of his family. Very lovely and somewhat depressing. Not because I still love him...But maybe because I am simply alone and everyone seems to have someone. I still occasionally feel that pang that I missed out on having kids. I have no idea why I feel that way. My tubes tied themselves several times today while walking through the mall. It is just about that feeling I guess. That sense of belonging. the sense of family that I don't have. Maybe it is that I want to BE a kid again. I dunno. Yeah. I am having a lonely day today.