Update: I have had another first date (last Sunday) It wasn't a hit.
I got a piece of mail for Mike Dated Feb 5th, and I opened it thinking it was junk. It was from his retirement account and it was addressed to the both of us so it really doessn't count as snooping. Most times I just throw them away but this time I decided to open it (there were two). Both were to confirm address changes from my address here (one just had his name on it so I assume he told them that I needed to be taken off). Instead of listing the address he has with Gina in her new condo though, it lists a NEW address in another county. Hmmmm. I wonder if he has moved away from her or if they bought a house together. Funny, he always said he would never buy a house in this address area because of the traffic. I know there was a guy he worked with (in that county) who wanted Mike to rent his home while he lived in Fla. but when I did a reverse search on the addy, it doesn't even come up. I dunno. I can't imagine Gina moving from another state to here just to have to sell again. Plus, their condo had three bedrooms so it isn't like it was tiny in case they're expecting (which wouldn't surprise me). So he has moved three times in a year.
When I got the letter, I was crushed. It was yet another sign of my life seemingly being out of control. I didn't know what this man was doing after 10 years of having that right to know. Does that make sense? I cried all day...again. I don't know why it upset me so much. It didn't even occur to me that it could mean they aren;t together anymore. It was last Sunday after my who knows how many first date failures, that I was driving home and an overwhelming sense of peace and forgiveness toward him came over me. I don't know how to explain it. Usually after a date flop I get all emotional again, longing for that companionship and security that I thought I once had. This time I didn't. When I realized that he may have broken up with her, I didn't have that smug satisfaction. I felt kind of bad and sorry for him. I was almost tempted to call him and let him know that he was forgiven. I didn't. Maybe partly because I didn't want it to be seen as a weakness in that I was desperate to have him back. Maybe because I didn't think he really deserved to know. It was a quiet forgiveness for me. I have the address. I haven't had the urge to drive by and check things out. I only drove by the gina house once when I found out. Maybe I am getting better.
I am writing a guy who about an hour away. We do IM with the web cam. He's into art and makes a living as an artist. He is very cute by my standards...Actually my dream guy physically. We're supposed to meet this weekend though i don't think I can make it. We've had two snow days and I took a day off work because I was ill. There is a lot of catching up to do but then again, i just forgot we have a three day weekend. Maybe I CAN afterall.
I renewed my gym membership for a whole year this time. I can't believe six months has already nearly come to pass. We only have about 13 weeks of school left. Wow!. I have cabin fever and a little bit of Spring fever right now. Overall, life is good.
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