Wednesday Mike came over and we really talked about deep issues. We discussed our significant others and our relationship and how neither of us wanted to hurt anyone. He says he doesn't love her but I am not so sure. There was talk of working it out again and plan making. He said if we get back together he would have to just jump in and move back in. None of this dating stuff. We talked about his job and he said he wouldn't quit and we began to make plans about how we would live in this house. I began to get hopeful again.
Thursday I texted him and let him know that I was thinking of him. I called him at 9 that night after I had gotten off of work. He didn't answer his phone because he is using his other one.
Friday. I texted him and called again. Then I called his other phone and he answered. He did a complete 180 on me. Went back to saying he didn't know what he wanted. I asked him if I told him to move in this weekend, would he? He said I don't know. Which means no. He was with Gina on Thursday. He says he was trying to break it off with her. I don't trust that he was being completely honest with me. I told him I had plans with SO and I had broken them off for him. I told him that I couldn't take this being jerked around anymore and that he needs to continue to move his stuff out. I don't know what to feel. I don't think I really love him, I am just living in the past and I am afraid of being alone. This is the first time I have ever lived alone for a long period of time. I need to learn how to like it.
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